JUST FOR FUN
Lessons Learned From A Dog
- Don't leave home without your ID.
- If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
- Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.
- Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
- Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
- Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is most effective.
- When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged shamefully out
from under the bed).
- If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
Dogs Are Better Than Women
- A dog's parents will never visit you.
- A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
- A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
- A dog never expects you to telephone.
- A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
- A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
- A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
- A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
- The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
- A dog does not shop.
Quotes
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." -- Gene Hill
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams
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